Pushing Back Ageism With Gentelligence

“Forget Gen Z, Here is Where the Real Influence Lies,” read the headline of an article about the financial power of older widows. As a widow, you’d think I would be thrilled to discover I am today’s real influencer. But I wasn’t. 

Since women tend to outlive their husbands, the article explained, the Great Wealth Transfer will first go to women before it goes to younger generations. I do not question the facts of the article, but the tone of the headline concerned me. I take issue when sarcasm is used to highlight the significance of one generation over another. I look forward to the day when age is treated as the diversity issue it is, and all people are respected.

How might we deal with ageist attitudes productively—and without sarcasm? Pull out our trusty Gentelligence® Toolkit. Created by Megan Gerhardt and colleagues, it contains four principles that break down barriers and build up the strengths of an intergenerational culture.

Principle One: Resist Assumptions.

Is monetary wealth is the only true source of influence in our country? What about wealth of knowledge, ideas, diversity?

If one generation experiences a win, does that mean others must lose? Isn’t there enough influence for everyone?

Has Gen Z been insisting only they are influencers?

Principle Two: Adjust the Lens (See things from the other person’s point of view)

The headline reflects a primitive fear many in older generations share that younger generations are here to replace us. How can we overcome these fears

Conversely, how will a Gen Z read an article like this? That they have nothing to offer unless they have money? That may be sending the wrong–or at least a counter-productive—message. 

What will it take to flip this story from win/lose to win/win?

Principle Three: Build Trust

What would it take for older generations to feel psychologically safe enough with younger generations that they would no longer have the urge to negate their existence? What if Gen Z strengths became an asset to our wealthy widows?

Build trust by intentionally connecting with members of all other generations, especially Gen Zs. You can start with members of your families, workplace, faith and community organizations.

Ask hypothetical questions. Then listen, listen, and listen some more. Do you find values, passions, and dreams you share? What if conversations with trustworthy Gen Zs inspired creative ways to invest an inheritance?

Principle Four: Expand the Pie or find the win/win by inclusion, not exclusion

What could a combination of Gen Z and Wealthy Boomer Widow look like? What’s the value of generational collaboration?

What’s possible when people of different ages enhanced by different kinds of intelligence team up to Influence important _________ for the future? Anything is possible! Fill in the blank—let your imagination fly.

Of course, these things don’t just happen overnight. It takes time. It takes small, simultaneous steps in each of these ways. This is progress.

Mary Cooney