Colleagues and Mentors Are Different—That's the Point

source: www.theconfusedmillennial.com

No sooner did this quote catch my eye than I learned that January is National Mentoring Month.

But then I wondered what the difference is between colleagues and mentors. And why does Junot Diaz insist the quality of our work deepens through the mentoring relationship?

Good question.  

What’s the Difference?

When I think of colleagues, I think of fellow sojourners on the career journey. We share joys, disappointments, advice, and solutions. But rarely do we turn to each other for a serious critique of our work. We are often on even footing in terms of job experience. Our perspectives may vary, but rarely does a colleague have enough emotional distance to objectively weigh in on what’s happening. And do I really want to risk over-stepping with my input when I have to work side-by-side with this person on a daily basis? 

When it comes to colleagues, the urge to be completely honest about everything is not always the best thing. 

A mentor, on the other hand, is rarely involved in the day-to-day operations of my job. Ideally, a mentor is not in the same department. This provides emotional distance and perspective of my situation that isn’t bogged down by office dynamics.

By definition, a mentor is ahead of me in their career journey. They may be winding down their formal work life and be eager to share their experience and wisdom. They have likely dealt with many challenges similar to the ones I am facing and are living proof of survivability. 

Mentoring rarely involves an exchange of money. Coaching might, but mentoring is an act of generosity. This forms a bond between mentor and mentee that transcends the transactional nature of many professional relationships.

One of the most important and powerful differences is that, unlike colleagues, my mentor and I chose each other. That kind of synergy matters. Personal connection and shared values help mentors and mentees create a relationship based on trust, mutual respect, and reciprocity. And that’s really why and how, as Diaz says, “the real work gets done.”

Difference is the Point

In teamwork and workplace culture, we spend a lot of time talking about building bridges and finding common ground with coworkers. And there is power in that, to be sure. But mentoring, interestingly enough, can happen most powerfully when two people connect not through similarities or even coincidence, but actually because of intentional differences. We learn best from those who are different than us, so seeking mentors who are at a different stage of professional progress, who have unique expertise and diverse experiences, help us grow in ways we simply couldn’t otherwise. 

Combine those distinct differences with a desire to learn from each other, and you’ve got that transcendent and even cherished relationship. It’s incredibly powerful. 

Mentors serve as a…

Consultant: When you have a problem you’ve never encountered, you can pick the brain of your mentor, who has probably been there before. You can ask questions or even just talk through an issue and your mentor can be a sounding board and an expert advisor.

Critic: Sometimes you need an unvarnished opinion of your work, and a mentor is someone you can trust to give it to you straight — but with kindness. Your mentor will come to know you well enough to deliver that critique however you best receive feedback. Sometimes it’s because that’s how they best receive it, too. 

Counselor: There are some moments where you need someone to listen and advise. This role is different from a consultant in that it has a more personal nature. Some professional problems bleed into your personal life, and you need someone you can trust. As a counselor, a mentor listens, asks strategic questions, and often leads you to a solution.

Cheerleader: We all need someone in our corner cheering us on—someone who believes in us and is ready and willing to give support, encouragement, and inspiration. Fred Rogers (yes, that Fred Rogers), when he accepted a lifetime achievement award, acknowledged the power of “special ones who have loved us into being.” (And no, I can’t stop watching that video, either.) 

Now More Important Than Ever 

It’s impossible to overstate the role mentorship plays in helping employees and companies weather the ongoing Covid-19 pandemic challenges—like training, managing remote teams, uncertainty, work-from-home fatigue, and downright loneliness.

There’s plenty of guidance and advice for how to structure mentoring relationships. Some are more formal than others, but the benefits are clear. CNBC recently reported that 91% of workers who have career mentors are happy with their jobs. Employee engagement and satisfaction hinge on mentorship, and, believe it or not, so does a company’s bottom line.

Personally, I don’t know where I’d be without my mentor. I haven’t always called her that, but our relationship has been an integral part of my professional life and success.

In my next blog post, I’ll tell you about her and share my mentor story. Stay tuned!